.yup, it worked.

so you all know that i found out this past week if our 3rd ivf worked or not, and pending notification of close family members i have yet to post. well, i'm pregnant. we're both in complete shock and VERY pleasantly surprised. we really thought we'd be going to las vegas to fine tune our drug protocol. well, so far, we'll not be going to vegas again for a few years.. :)

anyway, i had so many dreams and ideas of how i would tell our friends and family that we were expecting, but so far, it's been too scary to actually believe that it is true, or will stay true. we're all just cautiously optimistic. my first ultrasound will be on march 10th.

so here's the story how we found out.
tuesday february 22 i had my first blood test at 8dp3dt (8 days past 3 day transfer).
it was only 5. some clinics call a 5 "not pregnant" but my dr. called and said i was.
we were ecstatic, but knew it could most definately go down and be deemed a chemical pregnancy. therefore we lied to all of our family and told them it was negative to buy us some time to get another blood test. so i waited for thursday, february 25 for the 2nd beta. it came out to 26. the number is supposed to double every 48 hours and ours more than doubled which helped reassure me that we were on track. 26 for 10dp3dt is still really low, even for a singleton, but i was happy. went back to the lab saturday, february 27, and got a number of 69...still positive and rising appropriately. so finally we can take a deep breath and celebrate a little.. as far as beta hcg numbers go, i'm just now up to the "average" range for a singleton. and i'm happy being there. we have one more blood test tomorrow that will help my dr feel good about releasing me to my ob/gyn as long as the first ultrasound shows a heartbeat. that's the next big hurdle..the heartbeat!

anyway, we are so very excited to welcome a little bundle of joy into our home, it has been a very long time coming and can't wait to see how the first few months go. we know we're not out of the woods yet, but are getting pretty comfortable with using the word, pregnant. and it doesn't hurt to hear congrats, either, just helps us to realize it just may be happening.

here is a picture of one of my MANY hpts. this was done on 14 dpo, or 11dp3dt..never seen that before, two beautiful pink lines :)

.i'm surprised.

uterus: please make room for 2 little eggs. thank you.
i'm surprised how content i am, that is. usually about this time i try and google every little thing about the 2ww. i usually hate everything about waiting. i usually start to lose all hope by now. but, surprisingly, i'm content. happy, even. i don't know if that's heavenly father wrapping his arms around me, or if i really just "don't care" since we have paid to try 2 more times with dr. f. what do you think? i really just like being where i am right now...technically pregnant with twins. i'm not emotionally tied to these two..yet.. but i have been found to talk to them. didn't do that the last two cycles. i don't name them.. i don't think much about them. other than hope that they find a quaint little smushy spot in my endometrial lining. i've been thinking a lot about cameron lately. i feel bad for the poor guy. first off, no hanky panky since before vegas...ok that was like, feb. 6! and other than his date with the super well-equip pleasure room a couple weeks ago, dr said i'm off limits (well my jj) til my 2nd negative beta OR my SECOND ob appt! do you know when that would be!?!? like 5-6 more weeks! poor, poor dude. i've got to do something about that. anyway, cameron, if you read this, so sorry. i really do feel bad. i can't be a very good wife right now.

anyhow.

i'm thankful to all y'all who've kept in touch. i really am grateful. first beta will be on tuesday (in 2 days!) and the 2nd will be thursday. my clinic does their first WAY early and usually doesn't call with results til after the 2nd. but luckily..i work at IHC and can look up my labs..so i'll know. it will be low and won't really say much, other than for sure negative. happy dreams everyone...i'm off to bed.

.not so great news.

about 15 minutes after posting yesterday, i got a call from dr. fisch. he sounded all chipper and i was hoping for good news. well, i was wrong... he said that of the 10 only 4 were mature. great. and of those 4, 3 had fertilized with ICSI. i guess that pretty good rates if you don't count the immature eggs, but really?? only 3. anyway our hope for a day 5 transfer has gone out the window and we'll be having our ET tomorrow. hopefully of those 3, 2 will be of good quality, although my optimism has been shattered on more than one occasion with this shitty process. yes, i said shitty. thanks for listening.

.so far.

well, i'm down here in las vegas with cameron and my mom. it's been really relaxing and quite fun. dr. fisch is pretty good..he's a little strange..but i know he is a phenomenal dr, so i'm putting our fate in his hands. i had my first monitoring appt with him feb. 8, on day 6 of stims. my e2 was 667 and i had about 7 follicles that looked like they would be ready. i kinda thought i'd have more, but i asked him about it and he says he only likes to get between 8 and 12 because then they all have more of a chance to be mature and good quality. the next 2 days, feb 9 and 10, had 2 more appts and the results were pretty much the same. about 8 or 9 follicles. got the go ahead to trigger on the night of the 10th...2 days faster than being on the long lupron cycles..so that was good. i only had to stim for 8 days. that was fabulous. yesterday, feb 12, was our egg retrieval. it went just as well as it could. i can't tell you how much i LOVE anesthesia. the iv sedation was great and i woke up in the recovery area with my honey by my side. last time cameron wasn't allowed in recovery and that sucked. i woke up really fast, no cramps really, and went back to the condo for a small nap. they retrieved 10 eggs. and now i'm just waiting to hear from dr. fisch to see how many fertilize. i'm not too optimistic, because last time we had 9 and only 6 fertilized with icsi. but if we get 6 or 7..i'll be thrilled. anyway, i just wanted to write real quick so i don't forget how things went. can't wait to hear from the office. ahhhh.!