.holy 38 days.

yup, you read it correctly...that's just over 30 days, folks. 38 days (or hopefully less) until we meet our little dude. isn't it so crazy...maybe i'm the only one who thinks it's crazy close. now that it's so close to being over, i'm not so sure i want to be done being pregnant...yeah, it's mostly uncomfortable, but it's pretty amazing too. i probably complain a lot, to cameron, but really it's been amazing to see the changes and the feel the life of another human inside me. does my back kill all the time, yes. do my feet and ankles look like redwood trees, yes. do i feel like an elephant is sitting on my lungs, yes. and did i actually have sweat beading up on my forehead while teaching yw today, yes... but is it 100% worth it? absolutely, and i haven't even had the chance to fall in love with his little face yet. i can't imagine how that must feel to see and hold your little one for the first time. i'm sure people that read this (if anyone still does) have been there, but i think it's something you have to feel for yourself. it has to be something unforgettable and probably takes your breath away. i'm kind of tired of trying to imagine how it will feel, and just want it to be here! ugh. but i'm soaking up my last few weeks :) according to all the websites and my books, our little one weighs a little more than 5 pounds and can come really at any time...but don't worry, that's not happening because his head is still SO high and his feets are kickin' away at my ribs...ouch. anyway, haven't had a dr appt for 3 weeks so not much to report there, but we're still just hangin' out and waiting to meet our baby. 38 days left!

.30 weeks.

oh my gosh.. the time is flying now. it seems like just yesterday i was 20 weeks and finding out that our peanut is a little boy! and now, we're only 10 weeks away from meeting our little guy. that's nuts. i really don't have much to say about it other than i hope the next 2 months go by quick. i can't wait to meet him.. the anxiety of waiting is killing us. i'm officially huge now. i was dreading the day when the drs i work with started to notice...isn't it just so awkward knowing they notice, but they don't know for sure if i am or not, so they don't ask, but you know they want to? it's funny, when the drs are giving me report on my patient, they basically are glacing down every few words to check it out.. i finally just started saying, yeah, it's a belly, and i'm having a boy :) i think after that, we're both relieved. ha ha. the back aches are pretty bad.. i can't sleep at all. sometimes i even have to hang my upper half over the side of the bed to stretch it all out..crazy. it's pretty amazing how our bodies just mold to where the baby needs it to for them to grow. it sure is a miracle... now let's just pray for a miracle that it'll all go back where it started.. fat chance. so i'm pretty sure we're now mostly ready for him to come. nursery is done, bassinet is up, and carseat is waiting. i think we're just a little anxious, what do you think?? here's to 30 weeks down, 10 to go!

.wow, 24 weeks.

so this post is slightly premature.. but this week marks viability. not saying if i were to go into labor that this little boy would survive, but there's a chance and that's a slight sigh of relief. and believe me, i'm not asking for a micro-premie. that would be tough! but i guess i'm just trying to say that i'm so grateful to have made it this far, and feeling as good as i do. i've been feeling a little sad lately because i just don't feel "connected" to this little guy yet? is that bad? i mean i love feeling him and i talk to him and i just try and envision the day that cameron and i get to meet him. i hope it is still my insane coping mechanism that infertility taught me.. thanks, infertility...i really appreciate it. anyway, i'm not a worrier and people always tell me, "just wait til you see his little face, you'll melt" and i have NO doubt that those words are true. i'm still very excited and i've had some wonderful moments, just me and him, where he's tossin' and turnin' and i have to laugh. it's so weird and beautiful at the same time. i think my mom is slightly bummed that she hasn't felt him, but i have an anterior placenta that makes the little movements hard to feel from the outside.. but cameron has seen him in there rollin' around.. he's in awe. i have to hand it to my husband. he's great and so excited for this baby. sometimes i wonder if he's more prepared than me.? he's great. i know he'll have such a stellar relationship with our little guy, one i'll most likely to be jealous of. well for stats purposes, i have felt the little one kick most of the time..he definately doesn't sleep more than he's awake, in my opinion. he's over a pound now and probably cute as can be. people are still pretty shocked that i'm 24 weeks almost...because i just haven't "popped" yet. i know it's comin'. i've been pretty lucky that i don't have to really worry about what i eat...i just eat when i feel like it. works pretty good. i see my ob on wednesday and i'm hoping she's ok with my 6 lb weight gain... we'll see. i seriously couldn't eat more or better if i tried. i get so full, so fast! i probably drink a gallon of milk every day or so. so as far as belly pics.. there aren't too many yet. we took some at the u of u game last sat but i look pudgy, not pregnant. i'll see if i can post one soon.. because i'm not sure if this will be my one and only pregnancy? i would be so sad if it were, but we feel very strongly about adoption still.. we'll see. happy 24 weeks to us.

.the name.

so i'm not usually a fan of asking people's opinions about baby names, mostly because it's the parents and the kiddo that have to live with the name, so it really shouldn't matter what other people think. but i'm going to put some of the names we like out there, some only i like, and some only cameron likes, and just see what you think. ultimately we'll be deciding together and this blog will have no influence...but just for kicks??

-gunner
-crew
-bauer
-griffin
-wyatt
-greyson

so we obviously don't really go for the popular names, can you tell? what do you like. we're pretty sure the middle name will be cameron, but it has to flow with the OWENS last name. :) have fun giving us your input.

.photo.

.our little boy.

2o weeks

.20w0d.

so i wasn't able to post much last week and i wanted to write about the BIG ultrasound. i've heard ladies talk about it and you think you know what to expect going into it, but cameron and i were both pretty awe-struck with how great it was. it truly is a miracle all those little cells, that began as two single cells, all know where to go and what parts to create. seriously, amazing. i remember taking an embryonolgy class at the U and feeling the same way, but it's so incredible when it's YOUR two cells that it starts from. anyway, the ultrasound was great, the girl that did it was so nice, telling us all about each image she recorded. the images were so wonderful. to see those 4 chambers in the heart and the actual heart valves pumping away! WOW! and to see all the structures of the brain, even the tiny ones, that produce the CSF...unbelievable. and of course, there was no mistaking the gender.. loud and proud, he is very boyish! anyway, you get the gist. we were so glad to hear all the great news that our IVF/ICSI baby is (mostly likely) not going to have anything wrong with him.. he's such a little miracle and we couldn't be more happy to meet him. i have had some panicky moments (which is NOT like me) where i feel like he's not going to be cute or something...normal, right? it's so weird being a worry wart...because it's SO NOT like me. i really couldn't do that full time, it's exhausting. it has been pretty amazing feeling those little bubble-like feelings in my tummy..a little reassurance that he's still there. it's kind of nice having a little buddy 24/7 to talk to. i'm sure his little ears are already bleeding from me jabbing away all the time :) love you, little one.

.thrilled.

wow, what an amazing experience to see the little man's parts...
he looks healthy, good heart, good brain, good boyish parts...
we couldn't be more thrilled
can't wait to meet you, little guy